Tom: Hey boo-boo bear!
Ann: What did you just call me?
Tom: Boo-boo bear. It’s one of several nicknames I’ve made up for you. And you can choose which one you like best, ’cause I want this to be a give and take.
Tom: We have cookie tush, Winnie the Boo, lady presh-presh, Annberry sauce, Annie get your boo, Tommy’s girl, Annie bananie…
Tom: Am I in a relationship? It’s complicated.
Ben: I’m not afraid of cops, I have no reason to be. I never break any laws, ever. Because I’m deathly afraid of cops.
Ben: Mo’ money mo’ problems, that’s what I always say.
Andy: I don’t know how many of you have heard, but there’s a flesh-eating virus going around. Yeah. It’s called music.
Dave: San Diego sun got me all tanned up.
Dave: Yes, Leslie Knope is a female person with whom I was involved. We had romantic-romantical involvement until I relocated to San Diego, which is-that’s in California, which is southwest of here by a number of miles, so uh. We terminated our involvement at that time.
Leslie: Double endorsement. Ooh, that sounds like an Ashley Judd movie.
April: I’ve heard of him. I’ve heard he makes mature women swoon when he plays.
April: You got it Duke.
Ron: Don’t call me that.
April: I dig your groovy tunes, man. Did you hear me? I said I dig your groovy tunes, man.
April: God, that was hot nonsense.
Tom: I’m sorry, but you were too hot to hide, Ann. This is on you.
Donna: When you two spoon, who spoons who?
Dave: Okay, well if we leave now while he’s in the Whiz Palace…
Ben: Whizzingham Manor!
Andy: Was that a joke? Were you joking just now because if so, that was hilarious-ly awful-ly funny how bad that was.
April: He’s a gorgeous genius people, just don’t question his methods.
Dave: You look like I could use some company.
Ben: He’s in love with you and he has a gun.
Andy: This is not an audition, so relax, but if you don’t sing good then you’re out of here.
Tom: I think you sound like an angel, and everyone else sounds like demons.
Tom: I don’t wanna brag, but I have a ton of experience with women being mad at me.
Ann: Oh for f@#%’s sake.
Tom: If you want another date, keep walking away. She’s still walkin’.
Dave: I just said to you one thing, and you’re contraring me.
Tom: Haverford playbook #2: ladies love a guy waiting for them in the rain.
Ron: I never thought I’d say this to you, son. But you may be overthinking this.
Andy: Maybe if I hit my head against the ground. That’s worked before.
Ann: What on earth would make you think I would like that?
Ben: Please just tell me what you want me to do.
Andy: I wrote a new song, it’s called “The Promise of Tomorrow’s Wings.”
Ron: I don’t know the first thing about music.
Leslie: Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m about to endorse ten beers into my mouth ’cause this has been an incredibly stressful evening.
Tom: The four sweetest words in the English language: you wore me down.